Saturday, January 29, 2005

first actual post
by iggy

So this is my first weblog entry. What do I say? I've read others, but never the beginnings. I only read them when they get big and good. Why spend time reading crap? maybe if I went back and read how the good ones started (most likely crap then) I'd have some sort of idea how to start this thing. fuck it, I can handle this.

So today I was in albertson's supermarket. There's this checkout girl loli. Loli's not as slutty as the name sounds, but you'll find that out soon enough. Loli has worked there for a long time, and she's about thirty. She used to give me the eyes all the time, she'd be smiling at me and asking if I found everything okay in this really sweet, "grope me now" voice. She was always on my jock, but at the time I thought she was beneath me. After all, she works at albertsons and I'm a quality assurance engineer at *****, need I say more?

So anyway, for the last month, loli has been wearing these new glasses to work. They are these really wide and thin ones with the thick black frames. like the people wear who look really dorky but do it on purpose and everyone likes it that way (it's a zen thing like "bad as in good" from the 80's, I dont completely understand it). Anyway, loli is a total fox now, and I really want to pork her. but you should see the way the checkout guy (big, football) acts with her now, they smile and laugh and he tries to impress her by lifting the 24 soda packs into the carts with only one arm. so, yeah, I think she's too good for me now.

so, today I decide it's all or nothing. I am going to tell her how I feel and how I want her meet me out on the back loading docks when she gets her break. If she rejects me, I figure in the future I'll just always use aisle 1 and buy my groceries in batches of 12 or less. Farsad on aisle 1 is not a hot fox like loli (and the line moves slower cause he also does ice-cream) but at least I'd hold my head high there.

so first, I set up the contents of my cart to maximize my chances of success:
- polish sausage (the set-up),
- grey poupon (have to look cultured)
- baby oil (its to clean off tar from the beach!)

then, when I to the front, I bust out my line:

"You can bag my sausage any time you want."

Except it didn't work out like I had planned. Loli was talking to another customer at the time and didn't hear and it was actually the football kid that was doing the bagging then, and he didn't react to it all that well. I won't exactly tell you what happened after that when I got out into the parking lot, and instead of loli it was the bagger kid on break, lets just say that I won't be coming back to albertson's ever again, even to Farsad's aisle.

welcome to my weblog.

2 Cacahuetes Viejos:

Blogger weix dicho...

nice blog

2:14 AM  
Blogger ubrayj02 dicho...

OMG WTF! Ths blig id awspme. Did you go backt o Albretsens???? LOL.

2:54 PM  

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