Tuesday, February 15, 2005

brief encounter on the way to the wash pit
by iggy

today I finally ran out of undies to wear (not just clean undies, mind you, I ran out of those weeks ago) so I couldn't put off doing laundry any longer. I slid the most promising pair on (really not all that promising) and since I knew whatever I wore today wasn't going to get washed and I couldn't wear it for awhile, I picked out the lamest clothes I could find to wear today. so I wore the white with the pink and yellow "hot! hot! hot!" shirt that my grandma brought me back as a gift from palm springs and a pair of my dad's old running shorts that I borrowed a few months ago when I ran out of clean clothes then (you know, the kind with the two stripes down each side that become the hem at the bottom, red and blue).

most of the time i do laundry it's not that bad cause I usually set up a batch and then go back to my room and do whatever (last time I sorted my entire, 1200-card "magic: the gathering" set). but today was different cause my mom lost her wedding ring in the washing machine and my dad had taken the damn thing apart to try and find it. I told him its sure as shit washed out with all the other crap that comes out of our clothes (if he's right about it sticking around inside the machine, it makes me shudder to think about what else might be back there). Mom says she thinks it fell off last time she was doing laundry, but I think what happened was she set it in there and someone ran an unexpected load. I've seen her do it too, when she goes for "girls night out" with her friends she sets it in the washing machine on her way out. I figure they go to the batting cages or something and she doesn't want it in the way.

but anyway, because my dad has the machine in pieces all over the floor, I have to lug my shit down to "the Wash Pit" in town, and cause my car is broken, I have to take the damn bus. my clothes hamper is far too small to hold all my clothes, so I broke out the glad bags to carry it all. thank god my parents buy the expensive kind with the red string at the opening, cause otherwise theres no way I could carry six bags of laundry with me on the bus.

So once I get on the bus I have to go down a ways before I can find enough space to set down my bags. when I sit down, though, I notice that there was this total fox (brown hair, maybe 5'4" reading "Us" magazine) sitting up in front that i totally missed. had I seen her, I would have sat down somewhere near her, cause you cant hit on women from 20 feet away. I figure I'll give it a shot though so I watch her, trying to make eye contact.

When she looks up and sees me, I smile and nod knowingly. The first time, she kinda cocks he head to the side and squints at me, thinking she knows me, but can't place the face. I just smile. The second time we made eye contact happened sortof like the first, but the third and on didn't go that well. I think she figured out that she didn't know me, and after that the knowing-nod and smile seemed to have lost its charm.

but the stop for "the wash pit" is coming up, so I pull the chord and get up and make my approach. I stop in front of her and smile and am about to sling some game, when this guy further back yells:

"Excuse me, are these your underpants?"

The only possible answer to this question is of course, "no". Even if the underwear had "property of igor" with my photo on them, there was no way i was claiming a pair that could very well have had skid marks on them, considering their level of usage.

"no, they don't look like mine, sorry."

"are you sure? who else could have dropped them?"

it was at this point I decided to cut my losses. I decided the best course of action was to skip trying to get the phone number of this girl and to completely ignore the question of the guy in the back. The bus driver looked annoyed that the open door was waiting on me anyway, so I just got the fuck out of there.

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