Monday, March 14, 2005

independence day and the cold war
by iggy

things havent been the same with leo since last week. he and i have this cold war going on. we hang out, but never just me and him. and we dont even say that much directly to each other. actually now that i think about it, its sorta like the cold war because we've been having all these little proxy battles. petty shit, like when we argue about where to go eat or which movie to rent.

randy is, of course, himself a proxy battle. randy's gonna buy a new computer and, see I am a mac person and leo a windows guy. this is us in fry's electronics:

me: "damn the new mac mini is cool. and cheap."

randy: "the mac mini is badass. i should get one."

leo: "yeah, unless you ever want to play a game. mac doesnt even have a 128 bit graphics card. thats why there are no games for it."

randy: "no, i want to play games."

me: "uuuuhh, wha? 128 bit? it has imovie!!"


so on saturday night we were watching dvds ("independence day", so good.) in my basement. earlier in the day, i had got an email with only this in it:


To: Iggy
From: Elliot
Subject: Who's motorcycle is this?

It's not a motorcycle. It's a chopper, baby.

I cant put elliots face on this weblog, cause he thinks the fbi is keeping tabs on him


so, i already told you how elliot has a thing about not driving cars cause they waste gas. so he picked himself up this sweet-ass ride and was sending me the email to brag. being the strategic master that i am (i rock the house at risk (oh shit! risk! i'm going to write about it one of these days)) i sent elliot back the following email:


To: Elliot
From: Iggy
Subject: Re: Who's motorcycle is this?

sweet bike, elliot. what sort of mileage does it get? LOL!!

hey we're watching fahrhenheiht 9/11 tonight at my place. wanna come?

-iggy


so my trap was set.

that night, when we're about 30 minutes into "independence day":


leo: "oh that's total bullshit. a gun like that would have far more kick than that. you can totally tell they're using blanks."

randy: "yeah."

leo: "hahahah! you see that?? he's fired like 20 rounds! the largest clip you can get on one of those is 16 rounds. this movie is such a joke."


bell rings. my mom lets elliot in. I have to go up and get him cause she wont shut up about "has he been working out?".


me: "hey guys, elliots here."

randy: "hey elliot."

elliot: "hey. what's this crap? where's fahrenheit 9/11?"

leo: "what?!"

elliot: "yeah, isnt that what we were gonna watch?"

me: "so, blockbuster didn't have the selection we wanted, so we went with 'independence day'."

elliot: "you guys always watch this shitty movie. you just like it cause the computer guy saves the day, yeah?"

me: "no, but that is the only reason i have that 'three days of the condor' poster in my room."


so it only takes another 10 minutes or so of arguing about the morality of pentagon script reviews for filmmakers that want shoot military vehicles before leo leaves cause he has to do laundry. elliot went upstairs soon after that to go talk to my mom, but that was cool cause he had served his purpose.