Sunday, March 06, 2005

nutmeg fucks you up
by iggy

tonight was supposed to be quiet. me, randy and leo were going to hang out in my (parents') basement and paint miniatures. later this week we're going to meet up with some folks from randy's SCA meetings (I know, I failed, don't get me started on it) for some dungeons and dragons role playing and we needed them to look good. Randy said they offered repeatedly to do the session in costume instead of using miniatures, but I told him that there were some depths I would not sink to (costumed d&d is such a gateway activity to total SCA geekdom).

Clearly, Neterankh can use some touch-ups

So the three of us setup down in the basement with a wide variety of Tester's paints. My character "Neterankh" has seen a lot of action over the years and can really use a repainting. when I sit down to paint, though, Leo says he's real tired (he's been staying up late writing these lame poems in an attempt to win back his girlfriend, which is a whole other story. I'm trying real hard to get my hands on one of these so I can post it here. more soon...) and can he have some coffee or something?

All I had for coffee is some really old folgers crap my parents keep around, so I suggested I cook up some of this indian tea that I found the recipe for online. Leo says its fine, he'd drink urine if it was caffeinated, so I head upstairs to the kitchen to make some of the stuff. the recipe was pretty simple:

- 3 tablespoons Assam Tea
- 2 tablespoons of sugar
- three cups of water
- three cups of milk
- 2 inches of ginger, grated
- three ground cardamom pods
- one ground up stick of lemongrass
- 1/4 tsp ground nutmeg

we didn't have lemongrass, so I just used a bit of lemon and I have no idea what the fuck "cardamom" is so I left it out. the nutmeg we did have, but it came in these big balls, not just ground up powder. i ground off my 1/4 tsp, but then my mom was in the kitchen and started bitching about me throwing away the rest of the ball ("waste not, want not, iggy!"). so to shut her up, I just went ahead and ground the whole thing into the tea.

this would later turn out to be a mistake. once it had cooked for awhile, I strained it into three mugs and took it back down to the basement. I laid into neterankh with the gold and red testers and drank my tea. it tasted pretty bad, nothing like what I can get at "delhi belly" in town, but it woke leo up so much he had three cups of the stuff.

so not long after, my head starts hurting and feeling light. I notice that Leo is no longer painting his miniature, but is instead painting spirals on his hand and Randy has started singing "a horse with no name" but he keeps screwing up the lyrics ("I been through the desert on a horse with no shame, he said good when I felt up his mane"). I had got pretty light headed at that point and kind of lost it on leo: "why are you wasting all my grey testers paint!? I need that to finish my DS-9 model! if you are going to paint your hand use the gay colors like lavender!". leo didn't exactly take it well and poured the rest of the bottle of grey on neterankh.

so after that I threw neterankh in leo's face and stepped on (and crushed) his precious "matadara" mage. Leo came back at me with a handfull of D4 dice (the sharp ones) to my face. I think randy switched to singing the violent femmes "american music" about the time that leo took off his pants and complained that it was really hot in here and where is the bathroom exactly? he'd been in my basement a million times and knew there wasn't one down here, so I sent him upstairs, but made sure he wore his pants, cause I don't think I can trust my mom around him anymore without his pants on.