Thursday, March 17, 2005

people talk too loud on the bus, so i write the funny ones down
by iggy


male1: "did you break up with her or did she break up with you?"
male2: "well, we argue about that"
male1: "huh?"
male2: "she comes in every few weeks and says she is going to leave me. each time I tell her not to go. then this last time she says it and I say, 'yeah, go.' and she thinks she broke up with me!"
male1: "yeah, that's bullshit"
female1: "pssh, she dumped you."




male1: "my roommates are total skanks. julie always brings home guys in pairs. she has these handcuffs and shit on her bed, and when she does her thing she always leaves the door open some, like she wants me to hear it and join in. sometimes she even moves the action into the living room."

male2: "what? like you've walked in on orgies and shit?"

male1: "well, close to that. hell, i'll say this, at least she has a bed, unlike emily who just does it on the floor. she invites this brazilian girl over too and they double-team them. what ever happened to just normal sluttiness?"




her: "why? why do you love me?"
him: "what? well there's no one reason, it's everything all together."
her: "hrmph..."
him: "well if it was just one reason, what if it went away?"




"I had this feeling of being alone in new york city. I mean, I had lots of friends, but I never had anyone who I would call and be like 'so, what are we doing tonight?' "




female1: "He went to Phoenix to buy your engagement ring?"
female2: "yeah"
female1: "Why did he go all the way out there to get a ring?"
female3: "They've got the best prices on cubic zirconium out there, ha ha!"
female1: "heh. you think it's real?"
female2: "I don't care if it is real or not."
female1: "You don't care?"
female2: "no, whatever it is, it's all mine."
female4: "wait, I thought you knew it was real."
female2: "yeah, it is."
female4: "You had it appraised, right?"
female2: "well, yeah, a friend took it out one day and did that, I didn't"