Friday, March 11, 2005

why I am normal and elliot is not
by iggy

sometimes I wonder why elliot turned out as a total hippie and me randy and leo turned out so normal. we all grew up in the same area and went to the same schools, yet he spends his days being worried about animal testing and unjust occupations and we spend our days playing xbox and scoping hot babes. the last time I hung out with elliot, he told me a story about his second grade class that shed some light on this.

when elliot was in second grade, his teacher (mrs. hollister) was a total nut. not only did she believe in the healing power of crystals, she would routinely instruct the class about their power. these second graders didnt know their ass from a hole in the ground, so they bought this shit completely. one day mrs. hollister even got her students to help her out, metaphysically.

you see, mrs. hollister believed in the power of the pyramid. anything that was pyramidal in shape was a positive force, but metal pyramids were the best. So she had all her students bring in an extra coat hanger from home and she had them bend these coat hangers into pyramids. once they were done, she hung them in the class for weeks. once the students had benefitted from their manna, she took them home for her own use.

anyway, its not like I think that those few weeks spent with metal pyramids over his head got elliot all fucked up. it's that his exposure to mrs. hollister and her unique brand of hocus pocus got elliot all into the hippie shit.

well, that and the "the people's weekly world".