Saturday, April 23, 2005

homeless people + digital cameras = frustration!!
by iggy

thursday night me and randy and leo were in my basement. last year randy bought me "cabin boy" as a birthday present and we had thrown it in the dvd player to watch while we painted a new set of miniatures (goblins, mostly). i hate "cabin boy" and randy knew it, but i think thats why he bought it for me.

about ten years ago randy and i spent new years eve watching "cabin boy" and "the lawnmower man" and playing risk (FUCK! i forgot to blog about risk!! i will soon!!!). when you are 14, new years eve isn't about hooking up or doing coke or anything like that as much as its about staying up all night and not sleeping the next day. so, we turned on "cabin boy" at 4-ish and no one laughed at anything until the scene with the cupcake that spits tobacco juice. at that point, all the pent up laughter from the last hour of silence came out and I still dont know if we were laughing at the movie or with it, but we cried laughing. soon after that, we turned it off and decided it was the worst movie ever.

so why would randy buy me the dvd of a movie that he knows i hate? i think it had to do with what i got him last year for his birthday:

him: "space 1999...?"
me: "yeah, it's a dvd of every episode of the classic sci-fi series."
him: "i never heard of it."
me: "yeah me neither, but it looks pretty funny. look on the box, the effects are terrible."
him: "uhhh....yeah, thanks."
me: "well it was either that or the 'once upon a time in china' box set."
him: "YOU PASSED UP JET LI MASTERY FOR THIS?!?"


randy didn't really find the gift it all that funny

i guess randy figured the best revenge was to get me something he knew i'd hate. and that was "cabin boy".

so we were watching "cabin boy" and in that scene in the village with the toothless homeless people, leo starts complaining about poor people and how they are lazy and stuff. i sometimes argue with him about that, but i really didn't want to that night. one thing we could agree on was that it would be funny to have a competition about who could get the best photo of a homeless person.

since my crx is still broken, the teams were me and randy versus leo. we left my place and agreed on a time limit of one hour. whoever lost was going to have to buy tickets to the new "hitchhikers guide to the galaxy" movie for the winners.

randy and me set out for the strip mall next to the freeway cause for some reason the bums are always down near the freeway. i dont know if its the bus access or what, but that's where you can always find them. so it took awhile driving around, but finally we found this total nut at the payphone in front of the kmart:


"girl, i am tired of this argument, you can keep that fucking cat, just give me my damn demo tapes!"

i don't know if he was in the music business or what, but this guy at the payphone kept harassing some woman about his tapes. something about "musical geniosity" and how he needs the demo tapes because he "can't pay that damn child support until he signs with a label".

randy and i thought that that photo was maybe not allowed, because even though the guy seemed pretty seedy (he'd fit in well on the jerry springer show) we couldn't be sure he was actually homeless.

but when we got back, all leo had was this turd:


the blue thing on the left is apparently part of a vagrant

leo had been driving around for a long time and was really excited when he found a guy at a freeway exit with a "why lie? i want a beer" sign. but when he drove by and took the photo he fucked it up and only got a little bit of the bum in the shot. by the time he realized his mistake, the hour was up and he couldnt go back.

so me and randy were pretty sure we had won this thing, but today I get this email from leo saying how because he had half the people he gets another hour to complete it today and how he took this badass shot of a vagrant in a park with a film crew behind him. "very los angeles" he says.


leo's questionable photo

so what do you all think? who won this competition and who should pay for the tickets?