Tuesday, April 26, 2005

project diabetes
by iggy

ok, so i know i said a while ago that i would never go to that albertsons again.

but some time ago randy and i ended up there looking for the cheerios boxes with the star wars action figures in them. randy has been pissed ever since all the toys that went out in those cereal boxes when he was like 5 skyrocketed in value ("if i had known my lando calrissian would one day be worth $80 mint, i never would have strapped him to that model rocket 'D' engine for those jetpack tests"). anyway, when i was there it seemed that some of the employees that i have issues with were gone.

so yesterday he and i were back there again. this time though, randy was just going for pie. well, pie and candy, but the candy was an impulse buy. you know how when you were a kid you couldn't get enough candy? you probably used to think "shit, when i get older and i have money i am going to spend it ALL on candy". but then when you actually got older, you didnt really like eating tons of candy and you had better things to spend your money on (LIKE MAC OS X TIGER FRIDAY WOOT). well, randy had that first part about the candy, but then never grew out of it. seriously, as long as randy has enough cash to buy candy and pies and shit, he'll be happy.

so we were in the albersons pies section trying to decide between "key lime" and "dutch apple" (me: "i've never had dutch food...") when that fucker farsad comes over and gives us shit cause randy keeps opening the boxes to smell the pies:

farsad: "if you open it you buy it!"
randy: "what if i open it and it smells rotten?"
farsad: "our pies are not rotten!"
randy: "the last one i got was!"

this, was untrue, but shut farsad up for awhile. turns out randy just likes to smell the things. he says most of taste is smell anyway, so why not taste them all for free? and someone had shown up for ice cream so farsad ran off to help him.

i left randy in the pie section about this time because i needed more supplies for huevos rancheros (gods gift to guys who cant cook: eggs, tortillas, beans, salsa). when i came back with my arms full of rosarito brand beans cans, randy was moving stickers around ("if i combine the day-old sticker with the rhubarb sticker, which is the cheapest pie, we can get out of here for under two dollars"). turns out randy was out of money and was trying to save some cash cause he's been spending lots of money buying "world of warcraft" items on ebay.

so i told randy i'd buy him the pie. we ended up getting a key lime pie for $1.88 plus tax. he is one step closer to diabetes now.

I wish there was some nice ending to this story, but that was it. we got the pie and he ate it. they cant all be good posts, now can they?