Wednesday, April 27, 2005

space sex and the flux capacitor
by iggy

today a bunch of us went to the mall. me, randy, leo and cleo actually. leo was driving, which was why we got stuck with cleo. the day was nice so we decided to take the side-streets instead of the freeway. me and randy were in the back.

randy took of his sweater at one point and his t-shirt got all hiked up so i could see his scar from chest surgery. randy was born with this really pointy rib cage so when he was in high school they opened him up and reshaped it. the scar runs straight down between his nipples, and the off to each side, like an upside-down y. we call it the "flux capacitor", cause it looks like the device in the armrest of the car from "back to the future".

me: hey, you guys remember how the car in 'back to the future' ran on garbage in the second movie?
randy: of course. what about it?
me: well i was wondering... that thing turns anything you put into it into energy for the car?
randy: yeah, so what?
me: well how does it keep from eating itself, you know? like how does it know that my coke can is supposed to be burnt up, but the walls of the machine aren't?
randy: ...?

things got weirder from there, cause randy started talking about antimatter drives and how he learned all his physics from "star trek".

leo: if they asked you to go to mars, but it was for three years and a 90% survival rate, would you go?
randy: yeah. no doubt. i'd go.
leo: but what if you had to go alone?
randy: i'd still do it. i mean, i have the internet and the telephone and all, right?
leo: well, yeah, but the delay to earth is like 8 minutes. so you'd better have fucking tabbed browsing.
me: well your telephone would have that huge delay, so you'd just only leave messages, right?
randy: yeah. but that would still work.
me: oh shit, i'd always be getting these messages from you 'hi, its me again... just calling to see what's up. i just watched the usual suspects again and i love that movie, anyway, hope all is well on earth. and california in particular.'

leo: oh fuck, but just imagine a 20 year mission to pluto
me: no way i'd do that.
leo: what if they froze you for the trip?
me: well...
leo: and what if they said they would freeze anyone else you wanted for 20 years.
me: well shit, then i'd have my whole family frozen. maybe friends too, if they would. damn, i'd feel bad if the world they woke up in was worse that this one. it would be like, "hi, pluto was great. anyway, just hold on to this rifle, cause the rebel-mutants are almost here. haha, i'll explain later."
randy: i'd do it for sure. but actually, i'd prefer to be frozen for fifty if possible.

cleo: but if you were married, you'd take your wife, right?
me: well, i'd try but what if they wouldnt let her?
cleo: well you have to take SOME woman. it will be 20 years.
me: well, i'll only be awake for three of those.
cleo: shit, three years, iggy?