Thursday, July 07, 2005

independence day isn't just a great movie
by iggy

ok, i'm lame for not posting. I know the last thing people want to read about after a long out-of-bloggy experience is how sorry the blogger is for not posting. so i wont talk about that (even tho i am) or why i was gone.

but the 4th of july fucking rocked. the key to having a great 4th is to buy your fireworks in mexico. yeah, you can drive out to fillmore or some such shit and buy them (which is basically mexico anyway) but it's not the same. first of all, the american m-80's don't have little bits of ceramic that shoot out in every direction when you blow them. when you light mexican fireworks you take your life into your own hands. if you thought the rush from fireworks was from a loud bang and the fact that the neighbor guy who is playing monopoly by buying up and renting out half the block is going to come out and chew your ass out for once again depressing property values (oh god like the time we were filming the alien sex scene in our film "space race 2157") then you are completely wrong. the rush is SUPPOSED to be from the fact that these explosives could kill you or at least make you look like that guy in Robocop that gets hit with the toxic waste for the rest of your life.

so the 4th was badass here. randy's family took a quick trip down to mexico in june cause his mom gets all her painkillers down there and he brought back a minor arsenal of explosives. if iraq attacks us any time soon, they had better not try to come to our town cause we've got enough firepower to probably take down a large mechanized robot (or whatever else the iraqies got).

so cool shit #1 on monday was when we collected pinecones at the park and then made hand grenades by drilling holes down the middle of them and stuffing m-80's inside. oh god that was cool to see all the cats go nuts. the fuse is a bitch to get right, but work on it cause its worth it.

cool shit #2 was when the roman candle things he had picked up sucked and we cut them open and poured all the good stuff on an upside-down detergent barrel and lit it. leo almost lost his hand lighting that shit, but it was worth it cause it burned so bright the hills lit up and it melted the barrel it was on.

cool shit #3 was when we prank called elliot. he and some meetup friends were having an anti-4th-of-july party so we called and pretended to be from the department of homeland security. it was working for awhile but then randy started laughing after he told elliot they've been reading his email and "know all about the lolitas and stuff".