Thursday, July 28, 2005

raw deal
by iggy

OK CLEO! i'll fucking post already. i really never should have given cleo a login on this thing. she promised me tits and all i got was this lousy blog.

cleo says that elliot wont shut up about farming and i totally know it. he's been more annoying lately than reruns of the third season of dr. who (i'm sorry but two plungers and an upside-down trashcan do not make a dalek). somebody made a movie about dodger stadium and now all elliot can talk about is hugo chavez ravine. (what the hell is "kelo vs. london", anyway? i thought it was some new japanese monster movie, but the guys down at "mega manga mountain" haven't heard of it.)

so anyway, it was elliot's birthday last week and that meant we had to spend an entire dinner with him without telling him he's full of shit. elliot got to pick the restaurant and we had to pay so we ended up at this "raw food" place (no food can exceed 119 degrees or something). raw food is basically food for people who think vegans are pussies. elliot is of course vegan, so you can tell the whole time he's worried about being cool enough in this place. at the last second before we left for the restaurant he went and changed out of the free mumia shirt he was wearing and into his r.a.f. shirt cause "mumia is too america-centric".

now, don't get me wrong. there are lots of good raw foods out there like jello or peanuts. but the raw food people somehow feel the need to reinvent every normal cooked food in raw form. so they end up making food crimes like the "lasagna" i had that night. if anyone tries to tell you that pasta can be replaced by a nut paste, for god's sake dont believe them.

but the night at the raw place wasnt all bad. i got to watch leo argue with the waiter for five minutes when he tried to convince the guy to serve him an uncooked hot dog. i think they guys in the back got revenge by putting snot in my lasagna, but really the thing was so gross maybe that was just how it was supposed to be served.