Thursday, September 15, 2005

chinatown
by iggy

fucking dim sum. me and leo got tricked into going to dimsum on monday with elliot. he told us that it was the opposite of drive through cause "in communist china the food drives to you". so i was hoping for some noisy outdoor thing with chinese people racing around in golf carts yelling at me to try chinese french fries. THAT would have been the best thing to come out of china since fucking fireworks. but no.

after getting hassled by some black people on the train cause of leo's "celebrate diversity" shirt with all the different guns on it, we got off and got lost in chinatown.


elliot has no idea where he's taking us.

elliot thought he knew where the place was but clearly he didn't. oh and if anyone (leo) tells you that bootleg movies are all over the place in chinatown dont believe them cause I really wanted my own copy of 'white lotus' (best kung fu ever) but got nothing. apparently these people have started following the copyright laws. elliot blames the wto for it, but then again he also blames them for hurricane katrina.

some girl on the street is selling "cold drinks" so we ask her where the dim sum's at? she tells us about this place.


the place.

i dunno if you've ever done dim sum, but its not the kung-pao-rally-race that i thought it was. the carts go pretty slow and they yell at you, but most of them dont speak english. i'm sorry, but you're gonna have to speak some magical english to sell me on a $5 plate of broccoli.


$5 for broccoli?

the chinese broccoli did give leo an idea, though. he said he's gonna go buy a big box of oranges at costco and then sit out next to a stoplight with a sign that say "chinese oranges $2 each".

leo: "i know you want to taste a chinese orange."
me: "but they're just normal oranges?"
leo: "they dont know that. whats a chinese orange supposed to look like? you dont know."
elliot: "what if someone chinese drives by?"

that's it. then we left. dim sum sucks.