Friday, November 11, 2005

sometimes you eat the bear
by iggy

there's this hot ass russian bartender that works at this crap bar near elliot's house and we figured we'd go there and try to hump her. it was a simple plan, but somehow it went wrong.

yeah this is a bar i didnt think so either

the place always looks like its closed. that photo above is how it looks when it is open. the bartender lady bragged to us about how it always looks closed. "last week there was car rally down figueroa avenue" (picture this in broken russian accent) "must be two thousands of people driving past. we got ZERO people in here."

anyway the only people in this bar that night were over 40 and total alcoholics.

"free trade beer should exist" "you can pay extra if you want"

that guy in the fruity shirt was into elliot but it worked to my advantage. while elliot tried to prove he wasnt a homophobe i got to chat up the hot russian. turns out she lives in k-town, which SHOULD have played into my strengths since k stands for korean but it might as well stand for karaoke.

it went something like this

me: "oh ya k-town. you and me should do karaoke some time."
her: "yeah i dont know about that"
me: "i do a really good jim morrison just ask elliot"
her: "you want another drink or what?"

"did you know that 'carmen' is all about revolution?"

so elliot got sick of being hit on and started to play the piano. he's actually not that bad, even though he's changed the lyrics to all the songs to be pro-labor. i think maybe he was playing them to appeal to the comrade serving drinks, but she wasnt into him either.

when we were leaving the guy in the shirt invited us back to his place to see his "art". that's all he'd call it, "art", so i dunno what the hell it was. i didnt want to get eaten, so we left.

on the way home we ended up next to this wall with all this shit written on it and elliot spent FOREVER reading it all. i dont know what the hell it is.

"i met a girl, snowball in hell." wtf?